27th November '22 | Postcards by Fabienne

Packing up my life in the Arctic

Hej, hej!

My room reflects my mental state: Trying to fit everything into a designated bag, realising it does not fit anyhow, thinking about things to get rid of, squeezing things in the unrealistic expectation that it will miraculously fit, just to unpack everything and sit in the middle of the ultimate mess.

It’s the story of my life:

• Longing to belong in a box.

• Trying so hard for this particular box.

• Realising that my ideas, dreams, values, and emotions are not meant to fit into a single box.

• Getting overwhelmed by the number of boxes I would need.

• Desperately wishing to “have less” and just fit into a single box.

And then do it all over again. I often get told, “you are so brave”, and “you really have your life together”. Honestly: Most of the time, I have no clue about myself and my life.

Wow, that was deep for a Sunday morning. And all I wanted to do was to write my last Postcard from up here on Svalbard. Since – how could you even tell – I am leaving tomorrow. This last week, we got snow and cold temperatures again. I got to meet Tequila’s puppies – she is one of the dogs at the Huskies café.

We had a delicious dinner at Nansen Restaurant, followed by going to Karlsberg Pub, where we would stay until they swept us out.

And the last two nights, we had beautiful northern lights. They always appear brighter and more colourful in photos since camera lenses can interpret/receive light better in the dark than the human eye. But to me, they even seem more natural and mystique when watching them in their natural state. Don’t get me wrong; they can be as bright as in some pictures (though some are really over-exposed). But you have to stand somewhere in total darkness to allow your eyes to see them like this. This was definitely a wonderful farewell experience!

And I made peace with this challenging, foreign, and wonderful place and the experience I had here. Do I love Svalbard? Yes! Do I love life in Svalbard? And here we go again with needing the correct box to fit in. I am incredibly grateful for the experience of having lived up here. Svalbard challenged me in so many ways – probably to the point where I just got overly exhausted over the past weeks. I learned so much about the Arctic, the cold climate nature, our planet, living in a small remote community, the direct effects of 24/7 midnight sun and polar night, dealing with various group dynamics and how I interact with them – and maybe getting a tiny bit closer to enjoying life as a complex of free-floating things that do not belong into a single box and that might to some – not even have any reasonable connection at all. But they do. Since they all belong to me, and that’s more than enough.

I hope you enjoyed the glimpses of what life in the Arctic is about in these posts. So what is next for me? I am returning to Karlsruhe, Germany, where Sven, me, and Molly, have a flat. December and January will be all about recharging, reconnecting, preparing for my master’s thesis project – and making plans for what’s next for us as a family. My master’s thesis will be about safety measures for Arctic marine life in the context of underwater noise pollution from ships. I will write it in conjunction with my home University in Göteborg, Sweden and a research project in Tromsø, Norway. Some further details are still to be defined – such as the scope and duration of the project, but it will keep me busy for at least the first half of 2023.

And what’s next for you? I don’t know yet 😊 Tell me what you would enjoy hearing/reading/seeing from me in the future. I enjoyed this newsletter. I love taking pictures and telling stories. But it also takes quite a bit of time, too. I will take a little break from the weekly ones for a while. Maybe there will be an update on my plans later in December (so subscribe to get notified if you want to hear from me again).

Maybe there will be a season II next year. Let’s see. If you are interested in life in Germany, I will probably post some stories on my Instagram @hejfabienne 😊

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey and for all your lovely feedback and comments. Have a wonderful Christmas or holiday season – if you happen to celebrate it.

Wish me luck for fitting at least the physical items of my life up here into their dedicated luggage pieces 😉.

Stay warm and cosy!

/ Fabi ❆⇞

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PS: Since this has been a rather personal newsletter, I still want to share some of my thoughts about life and human presence on Svalbard:

The conditions up here are not meant for humans. Life is tough – and can get dangerous pretty fast in so many ways. The environment and ecosystem dependencies are highly vulnerable. It would be too easy to say that since we are outgrowing the age of fossil fuels (and coal mining was the single purpose of establishing settlements on Svalbard), life on Svalbard should be decommissioned. Things are complex – as they usually are.

Some activities are extremely valuable, such as research and satellite communication facilities. Svalbard also will play a significant role in human safety for shipping activities in the Arctic. Geopolitics – like them or not – play another vital part. And if you have any human presence up here, you must also account for some kind of settlement with everyday life facilities for the people – and families. Can this be done in more sustainable and environmentally friendly ways? Definitely, let’s start with wastewater treatment, just to mention one aspect.

Do we need an increasing tourism sector to compensate for the economic value gained from earlier coal mining? No. I am not voting for banishing any tourism from Svalbard and the Arctic. I have experienced the incredible region up here – and would love to explore more. So who am I to tell people not to come here? However, tourism should be more regulated – and individual. Do we need big cruise ships and – party, ski and adrenaline-chasing guests? Do we need dog yards with approximately 500 dogs who are kept here for the single purpose of entertaining visitors? Do we really need to discuss shooting polar bears since they are breaking into cabins built into their terrain?

All of this is very controversial. And so has been living up here 😊